1. Can you make a dollar change right now?
I can make it change into confetti.
2. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Yeah, it messes up my shoes. Love is notoriously hard to get out. It’s like grape juice or blood.
3. What feature do you find least attractive in the opposite sex
4. If you were to wake up from an extended coma, who would you call?
5. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Yeah, but she’s not very smart, so I totally won.
6. Do you like ducklings?
No!! The ducklings were a distraction!! I had been robbed!!
7. Who would you least like to be stuck in an elevator with?
The devil and his screaming babies after they've eaten Indian food
8. What article of clothing do you like your significant other to wear?
9. What is your full name?
That thing my Mother calls me when she’s angry
10. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
No, I only gamble in beauty parlors or elementary schools
11. Are you watching TV right now?
Yes, I am, because it is my job to watch Sesame Street while working on the Outlook schedule and blogging. Wait…
12. What are two fruits that you really like?
Elton John and Lafayette from True Blood
13. What’s your favorite fancy restaurant?
Long John Silver’s
14. Doggies or kitties?
Both tasty. Why choose?
15. House or apartment?
16. DVD player or VCR?
17. Lipstick or lip gloss?
18. Do you like your name?
Only as a friend
19. When do you shower?
Every spring, whether I need it or not
20. Do you cry a lot?
If I hold off long enough, I’m pretty sure my tears will cure sleep apnea and eczema. I just have to let the potency build up. Another 10, maybe 15 years and we're golden.