A form rejection on a full? Really?
Look, I know agents are busy. I know they have to sift through encyclopedias of bad grammar, incorrect punctuation, and poorly-constructed storylines, but come on. How can an agent gush about how much they loved my partial and can’t wait to reading the rest of it, then come back with nothing more than a brief, soul-crushing, “Thanks for the look, but this is not for me?”
It’s insulting, is what it is.
If you loved the first three chapters, what about the next 18 turned you off so much? At what point did you say, “If I try finish this load of crap my head might explode?” Did you start to hate my characters? Was the ending unbelievable? Did parts of it drag? Was it too sexy? Too violent? Not sexy or violent enough? What? Give me something, anything, to work with. Even a brief sentence or two describing what aspect of my novel poured icy water on the coals of your enthusiasm would be appreciated.
I’m not saying this agent should have offered unconditional representation. I get that my book will never be everyone’s cup of tea. I get that it probably needs work. But how can I fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong?
Giving a one-sentence form rejection on a FULL MANUSCRIPT SUBMISSION is like finding out you’ve been dumped when your boyfriend changed his Facebook status to “single,” then never speaks to you again. It’s like stumbling into a void that wasn’t there ten seconds ago.
I hate emotions. They’re so depressing. Up, down, up, down, sideways, backwards, upside-down, over and over again, until I throw up. I feel like a manic-depressive or something, and I am not enjoying it.
Maybe I need to find another couple of Betas. Or maybe I just need to go eat my feelings. Perhaps curling up with Watership Down and half a cheesecake will take the pain away.
Only one way to find out…