Creativity Exercise #5

I have to say I'm sorta proud of this one. Hope you enjoy it. ;)


1. What are you doing at this exact moment?
I’m negotiating a peace treaty between unicorns and Clydesdales while baking a pizza and delivering some mighty fine kickboxing moves against some ninja assassins disguised as grad students.

2. Do you collect anything?
Hair

3. What is your worst nightmare?
Total global annihilation. Also cheesy teenage romance novels.


4. Are you crushing on someone?
Who are you calling 'fat?'


5. Who’s thinking about you right now?
Oh, I guess I didn’t tell you. My psychic powers only work from 7:00-7:02AM every third Tuesday, and only during leap years that end in odd numbers.


6. What do you honestly want right now?
Honestly? What do I honestly want, right now, in this honest moment? Honestly? I don’t honestly know…that’s a very honest question, and I can’t honestly say whether or not I can honestly give you an honest answer. Honestly.


7. What are you looking forward to?
There’s a column directly in front of my desk. I’m staring at it right now. I think it might be plotting against me.


8. Plans for tomorrow?
I’m not tomorrow’s %$#@ing secretary. Go ask it yourself.


9. Are you comfortable with your height?
No, it’s very itchy and starting to chafe around the ankles


10. Last text received?
I hope not. That’d be depressing.


11. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars?
No, I only know psychological things about them.


12. Is someone on your mind right now?
My head is happily naked of all passersby, thank you. That would be uncomfortable.


13. Is there someone you know you should hate, but can’t?
Oh, sure. I think everyone has a special someone in their life. Maybe even two or three. You know, those abhorrent people who do terrible, unspeakable things to babies and puppies, but they’re just so charming and handsome. We just can’t stay mad at them, no matter how many atom bombs they steal or orphanages they burn down. Adorable.


14. Do you mind being cold?
Not at all. If I’m warm and friendly, people might want to talk to me and be friends and maybe even touch me. (shudders)


15. Do you drink coffee?
No, I shampoo with it.


16. If you could seek revenge on someone, would you?
I’d love to, but my ‘seek’ button seems to be malfunctioning. I’ll have to call tech support. Maybe they can install a ‘kill’ button instead.


17. Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
No. In three months I plan to be hiding in a cave after the zombie apocalypse takes everyone else out.


18. Have you had your birthday?
No, I’m stuck in a perpetual loop of being 11 months old. It’s been going on for almost 30 years now. Crazy.


19. Have you ever given your all to someone who walked away?
Yeah, it was weird. I’ve never seen someone walk under the weight of 2 cars, a house, all my furniture, several appliances, a big screen TV, and two small dogs. Frankly, I was too impressed to call the police.


20. Do you have trust issues?
Why? Who wants to know? How did you get this blog?