1. What is your blood type?
Red & hemoglobin-ey
2. Have you ever had phone sex?
I’m pretty sure that would void the warrantee on my phone, so…no.
3. Do you bite your nails?
Only when they deserve it.
4. Can you hula hoop?
A hula hoop is a noun. Can you apple? Can you diabetes? Then yes, I can hula hoop.
5. Why do you write?
There are these little worms in my head that won’t shut up unless I write down what they say. Annoying.
6. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?
Me? No. But personalities #2-#1,876…they’re another matter entirely. (They're crazy)
7. Do you use chap stick?
Only in self-defense
8. What makes you laugh?
Neurons firing in my brain telling my diaphragm to jump …wait…maybe that’s the hiccoughs…
9. Can you use chop sticks?
I can use them to irritate people.
10. Do you use a shower cap?
Only as fake jellyfish in the swimming pool
11. Tell us what your greatest fear is.
Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not the boss of me.
12. Brown or white eggs?
Both make the paint peel nicely off my enemies’ cars
13. Are you good looking?
I’m good at looking. I'm looking right now.
14. What states have you lived in?
Disrepair, confusion, chaos, peace, war…we can do this all day.
15. What is your average cell phone bill?
It’s a list of charges, fees, etc. demanded by my cell phone company under threat of disconnecting me from the rest of the universe forever.
16. Spell your name without vowels
R NM. Wait…or did you mean Y-O-U-R-N-A-M-E-W-I-T-H-O-U-T-V-O-W-E-L-S?
17. Do you have any hidden talents?
How would I know?
18. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
19. Dream job?
Not a. Complete sentence. Won’t. Give you the satisfaction. Of a response.
20. Do you e-mail yourself?
I am not actually a computer file, program, virus, or any other form of virtual or analog data. So, try as I might, I can’t seem to cram myself into a USB input and email myself.