1. What is your orientation?
2. Do you play anything?
I play a mean radio.
3. What is your birthday?
The day I was birthed. Duh.
4. What stereotype are you?
Centenarian Latina prostitute (with a heart of gold) who solves mysteries & kills vampires. Also there’s werewolves.
5. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Ask what you mean. Am I a vampire or a fairy? Well, the answer is both. That’s right. I’m a fairy vampire. (see #4 for more detailed answer)
6. Do you drink?
Water is for chumps. I get my liquids from eucalyptus leaves and used snow cone wrappers.
7. What car were you in last?
A Delorean Monster Truck. Right. No, it way my tricked out ‘04 Aveo. And by tricked out, I mean it’s got dents in it.
8. Are you spoiled?
Nah, I got a good 3 days left. Maybe 4, if I stay in the refrigerator.
9. Where does most of your family live?
10. Where were you born?
In a hospital
11. Do you wish you could move?
Sure, but that went out the window when I had my arms and legs removed. But they had it coming.
12. What is your dream vehicle?
13. Do you like glitter?
If it isn’t solving your problems, you’re not using enough.
14. Do you make your own clothes?
I have to. No one makes anything for the style-conscious, elderly-limbless-fairy-vampire-werewolf-killing-prostitute-on-the-go anymore.
15. When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?
16. Would you ever call Mike Tyson a girl?
Sure, he looks like a man who enjoys his prostitutes
17. Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
That’s disgusting. I’d never brush my teeth.
18. What are you afraid of?
19. Have you ever bitten someone?
What part of ‘elderly-limbless-fairy-vampire-werewolf-killing-prostitute’ didn’t you understand?
20. What would you do if a random stranger offered you ice cream?
Use my sphere of annihilation on it and him. You will not outcrazy me.
Got a question of a list of questions that you'd like to see me take wildly out of context? Send'em to beckahrah @ gmail.com and it might get used in next week's 'Creativity Exercise!'